the State of Things

Have you been wondering how we are here? Have you wondered if my bloggy silence means that BF has killed me and stuffed me in the toilet tank? Lord knows a time or two he has certainly had the motive, as have I.

Things are new here.

New is good. New is bad. New is different. New is exhausting. New is exhilarating. New is distracting. New is becoming familiar.

For the first few nights after BF arrived, I slept terribly. I woke up at all hours, fought for covers, fought for room on the bed, had my covers forcefully removed from my grasp, had sleepy arguments about who was taking up all the room, and so on. At times I woke up, simply thought, "He is here next to me now" and then went back to sleep. That makes me smile now when I think of it.

He is not working right now. That's fine; we knew this would happen. Unfortunately, job leads didn't pan out, and there has been little interest in the resumes he has put out. For now we are okay though, so we are not worrying. Part of me loves coming home to a Mr. Mom. I like that there are shiny happy doggy faces (Charlie's face is neither shiny nor happy, more on that in a minute.) waiting to greet me, sometimes errands are done, the bed is made, and the kitchen is sort of clean. I say "sort of" because he tries, God knows he does, but Domesticity is not his bag, and so things like wiping off the counters escapes him. It's cute, like when 5-year-olds make breakfast on Mother's Day. It's not really done well, but the effort is so apparent despite the lack of skills that you love it more than something easily and perfectly executed. However, he is bored with running to the post office, being the resident dog walker, and staring at the classifieds. He wants to bring in money too, and I appreciate that. Please think good thoughts for us on the job front. We need them.

Oh, animals. We have so many. Or at least it feels like we do, here in our cozy little apartment. Two hounds, one tortured feline soul. Lilly has quickly learned that this is her home, and she's rather happy with that. She would be a fool not to be- after the Long Car Ride, she got another person, a sister, and a bunch of car rides with friends and parks and dog shows waiting at the end of them. Maya is slightly less overjoyed, but still happy. She is braver now as a result of Lilly and BF. When we all go on walks together, she smiles and doesn't pull away or seem to have any reservations. I guess that a pack of two wasn't big enough for her, but four seems to be just fine. I think she gets tired of all the activity, and she seems sort of offended when Lilly steals her toys out of her crate (not that she would dream of doing anything about it). Secretly, I am sort of liking the way the New Dog and New Person have made Maya a mom's girl. She sits with me while i cook now, trails after me while I water plants, and sadly does not draw the line at trying to sit with me in the bathroom while I...you know.

And then there's Charlie.

Oh Charlie. My poor little moustache face. He now has what we call his Office- the triangle of space behind the loveseat in the office. The loveseat sits catty-cornered by the window, and so he has a private little pocket of space where no dogs can go. Occasionally he comes out, like when I pull him out of it, and close off the office, and he growls, hisses and swats at Lilly whenever possible. She can't seem to find it in herself to ignore him though; and is sort of fascinated with how much he seems to hate her guts. It's all rather exhausting, but no one has shed any blood yet, so we'll take it. I guess. Poor kitty. I miss him. I miss him sleeping on my pillow, scooping up and hugging him too hard, all of it. This is tough on him, but he's just got to keep kicking Lilly's ass till she leaves him alone. Keep fighting the good fight, Charlie.

So yeah, that's where we are. I love all the company around the house, although I have been known to pretend to be going number two, just so i can sit quietly alone and read a few pages of my domesticity book. I hide it away like it's a stack of Playboys, and savor just a little bit for a few minutes. It's bliss, all of it. Except the hissing and swatting, but that will get better, I'm sure of it.