No Paycheck Fridays: Junk Food Is My Frenemy

Frenemy: Someone who is both friend and enemy, a relationship that is both mutually beneficial or dependent while being competitive, fraught with risk and mistrust. (From urbandictionary.com)

Yes, this is sort of the worst time of the year to be of the Jobless Variety. Not because of gifts and all that crap, but because there is delicious junk food EVERYWHERE. Homemade, store bought, you name it. It's there. It has sprinkles. And it knows you are weak.

Like a lot of other people I eat when I am depressed. I eat when I am sad, lonely, afraid, anxious, happy, bored, you name it. And carrots are not comfort food last time I checked.

So, I have learned something about myself physically here lately, and it's a good thing for anyone to remember during hard times: garbage in, garbage out. A little ice cream can soothe the soul, but once you get in the double digit range for Christmas cookies in one day, it's hard to beat the streets looking for the Next Big Thing when your pants are too tight. It's much, much easier to just take a nap and try again tomorrow. Only if you do take that nap, how many people aren't napping, and are instead snatching up the few opportunities out there? Long story short, you (I) can't give into temptation and stuff your (my) face. It's self defeating, and hey- it's not like you have the money for new pants right now anyway, am i right?

The other thing: Job Loss is like grieving. I know this because I am at the Anger stage. I have expertly placed the blame for this squarely where it belongs, and now I. Am. Pissed. The best thing to get over Well-Placed Anger is to punch the offender square in the nose. You can't do that though. Because if you do, you will go to jail, and then you will have to spend your Gubberment Cheese on bail! And that would be terrible! Because you would have no money left for the cookies that you shouldn't be buying but are anyway because they are delicious and you don't know what I am going through so just give me the damn cookies and stop judging me already!!!

Ahem.

Yes, anger. See? See what it does to a person? That's why you have to Move Your Ass. Regularly. And with enthusiasm. I thought long and hard about deferring my gym membership in the interest of Cutting Back. But you know what? No. I will not. Why? Because going to Spinning Class helps take the stabby feelings away. Weight lifting is good too. You can't punch people in the nose if you are too tired to lift your arms. Besides, you know that you are still eating those cookies anyway. And we have already visited the issue of having the means to buy new pants.

So in short: get off the computer and go move your butt already. And put down those damn cookies. Or better yet, just give them to me; I will hang on to them for you. Especially those ones over there, the ones with sprinkles.

Have a great weekend! I am in full crafty manic panicked swing over here. Hopefully I will come back Monday with lots of hastily cobbled together goodness to share.