I Wish I Knew How To Quit You

Knitting,

I was wrong. I got angry and hurt and I said something I shouldn't have said. I was wrong, and I'm sorry. Take me back, baby. Please. I love you.

Had I only known that sitting down with an episode (or two) of a trashy reality show ( I like to watch them while doing complicated knitting because my brain is still working through the charts, but the part of my brain that controls Disdain turns it towards the idiots on Jersey Shore rather than on the knitting. Smart, no?) and next thing you know- you have a lovely cuff for a lovely mitt. the cabled bits are a bit wonky, but they should straighten out with blocking.

I have yet to forget the pain that is realizing that you have spent hours doing something totally wrong with no one to blame but yourself. But, i have realized that this is actually a pretty fun pattern, and hey- I've Got The Time.

speaking of- I've Got The Time has sort of become my motto this week. Now that Holiday Mania is over, I wake up when BF wakes for work, and I face a day that seems to stretch on forever. But just like that, it's over and I feel great about what I have done. I got another timer, one that works this time, and I allot little chunks of my day to this and that, and it is really sort of rewarding in it's own way. I have worked outside the home continuously since I was 15 years old, and this new rhythm that I have found is so natural for right now. It's gray and cold outside, and inside I am watching movies, reading books, knitting, sewing, re-organizing, cleaning, cooking (last night I made a lamb curry TO DIE FOR), exercising, and scheming on the Next Big Thing. I am at home in my current life, my circumstance, and that is a feeling I haven't felt in a while.

I have to say, I have a few prospects that make me think that this wonderful little slowing down will be somewhat sort-lived, so I am just trying to embrace it, and enjoy it for what it is- all while being grateful that this time can be pleasant, and not coated in a Paralyzing Fear like layoffs have been for so many others. I have been giving some thought to a Word for the Year like so many others in blog land, but I can't seem to come up with just one. The best I have been able to do is identify a Concept that I want to strive for, and that's Acceptance. I need to take things, people (including myself), situations, and accept them. I always felt like to accept things was to be apathetic, compliant, boring, inert- but the truth is that struggling against the current is tiring. And realizing that the only reason I know what day it is comes from keeping up with the Group Fitness schedule at the gym makes me smile a little, every so secretly.

Wait, wasn't this supposed to be about knitting? Yes, yes- the mitts are going just fine.