Some Assembly Required, My Ass

Hello, I've returned. I returned home with a very dirty and Georgia red clay covered dog, who had a splendid vacation, and was greeted by the tiniest nubbins of my hostas coming back up out of the soil. I also returned home with the Spoils of War.

I fought the General Public, and went to Ikea. we don't have one here, so this was a new and different experience for me. And wow, do I ever love reasonably priced Scandanavian furnishings! Who knew? So I purchased a few things, and the Few Things includes a lovely little multi purpose table thingy that so far I could use in the kitchen (where it is now), on the porch, or as a tea cart kind of thing, assuming one day I get some friends and start to like to entertain in my home or whatever. I digress.

Anyway, this thing is held together by tiny wooden dowels and prayers still I get to step 6 of the booklet that states that these 3" wood screw things must be driven into each rung on the frame, so that the resulting shelves are held in place. I can tell you that while I now have been moving the kitchen all around, but my right hand is a gnarled claw. Do you know what they give you to drive those screws in? An ALLEN WRENCH! A fucking bent up piece of metal, that's right. It took me two days of holding the wrench in a (new, purchased at Ikea) dishtowel and running laps around the damn thing for two days.

But it's done. And I will have you know that it would not be done were it not for my spiteful nature. See, when I commented to BF that I was putting it together he said, "Hee hee! You're a GIRL! Girls can't put things together! You are going to have extra parts!" Now he was (mostly) kidding, but it was that innate desire to get it right despite his rudeness that kept me going...for two days.

Now if you will excuse me, it's time to go home and reclaim my life from the clutches of Ikea. And perhaps do a little microwaving.