Some Assembly Required, My Ass

Hello, I've returned. I returned home with a very dirty and Georgia red clay covered dog, who had a splendid vacation, and was greeted by the tiniest nubbins of my hostas coming back up out of the soil. I also returned home with the Spoils of War.

I fought the General Public, and went to Ikea. we don't have one here, so this was a new and different experience for me. And wow, do I ever love reasonably priced Scandanavian furnishings! Who knew? So I purchased a few things, and the Few Things includes a lovely little multi purpose table thingy that so far I could use in the kitchen (where it is now), on the porch, or as a tea cart kind of thing, assuming one day I get some friends and start to like to entertain in my home or whatever. I digress.

Anyway, this thing is held together by tiny wooden dowels and prayers still I get to step 6 of the booklet that states that these 3" wood screw things must be driven into each rung on the frame, so that the resulting shelves are held in place. I can tell you that while I now have been moving the kitchen all around, but my right hand is a gnarled claw. Do you know what they give you to drive those screws in? An ALLEN WRENCH! A fucking bent up piece of metal, that's right. It took me two days of holding the wrench in a (new, purchased at Ikea) dishtowel and running laps around the damn thing for two days.

But it's done. And I will have you know that it would not be done were it not for my spiteful nature. See, when I commented to BF that I was putting it together he said, "Hee hee! You're a GIRL! Girls can't put things together! You are going to have extra parts!" Now he was (mostly) kidding, but it was that innate desire to get it right despite his rudeness that kept me going...for two days.

Now if you will excuse me, it's time to go home and reclaim my life from the clutches of Ikea. And perhaps do a little microwaving.

This Week In Sewing

Told ya I was sewing.

These are nothing to shout about, but they are made from materials on hand, useful, pretty, and appeal to the tiny part of me that thinks she's the Queen of England. they are reversible, so they feel good and think and heavy in your lap. And, during these times that feel like we are all on the Hades Express, all in this little hand basket bound for hell, it's nice to start your day with a pretty napkin, and a pretty place mat, and feel that there is still some sense of order and joy in simplicity to be had.

I'm still working on the place mats, although they should be done any time now. They are more time consuming than I thought they would be, but hey, what isn't?

Future Vampire Bunny Slippers

These are the slippers I finished like two weeks or so ago, and I don't think I showed them to you. How they came to be:

Pattern: Malabrigo Loafers
Yarn: Malabrigo Worsted, Damask Rose
Needles: US8 circs

Cute huh?

They will be even cuter soon. They look sort of goofy when I walk, because my feet are just a bit too narrow for them. But they basically feel like heaven. My plan is to eventually get some of the suede slipper bottoms so as not to either wear through them immediately or slip and crack my skull open in the kitchen.

But I have even better plans for them. Right now I am making some ears to stitch on, and planning to do a bit of stitching on them this week, and a face and some fangs and all that. But for a while I had cold toes and I was sick to bits of the pink Malabrigo, so I just let them be till I had the energy to make them good and funny.

Generally In Lieu of Blogging

I figured I would just sort of neatly summarize why I have been so terribly absent. Lots going on here presently, but none of it interesting enough to warrant its very own post. So we'll just list and then move on.

• Maya. She is peeing in her crate again. Sometimes peeing and pooping. Nothing has changed; I am not sure why this started up again. Maybe her meds aren't right anymore. I had this whole bout of melodrama where I wanted to shake her, and felt like I was failing her somehow, and why me?!?, and so on. I am over it, and I am determined to keep trying, keep loving her to bits, and dwell on the improvements she's made, and not the puddles.
  

• Um, hello- Spring?!?! Yeah, I have actually been out in the sun and fresh air, enjoying the warmth and neglecting the computer. This has done wonders for my general outlook, despite what my sinuses may tell you.
  

• Consequently, spring has me feeling sort of wound up and domestic. I think that the impending arrival of BF has something to do with it too, but spring cleaning has started around here. You can't really be present at the computer when you are scrubbing baseboards, windows, and cleaning out and organizing drawers, can you? And no, I will not come to your house to clean your windows and baseboards.
  

• I've discovered sock knitting. Things will never be the same.
  
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That's really it. Not such an impressive list now that I think of it. But hey, at least you know now that it hasn't been all crappy reality tv. Some, but not all.

I am now beginning my mini-cation. I took a few days off work to form an extremely long weekend. During this time, I need to make half a closet in the bedroom, make at least some space in the bathroom, and find some way to share the office- that part hurts my heart just a little. Anyway, there's that and then there's a trip to see my mother and some friends and then home for more feathering and fancifying (shut up, I don't care if it's not a real word) of my little nest here. Perhaps I will have a whole sock to show you when I get back?

Spring Is Here, Nanny Nanny Boo Boo!

Yes, I am now officially taunting people. We have spring, you don't. HA! That is right, I am laughing while I can. Especially since you will be laughing when you have lovely breezy days in the high 70's and I am laying on top of my air conditioner, covered in sweat and cursing this Southern Existence of mine. But for now, I play in the dirt.

I live in a shady little spot. For the most part I like it quite a bit, but it makes having plants difficult. All the super pretty colored ones seem to want sun. I don't have any to really spare, so I went with some low light stuff for the front porch. I wish I could take this little pot with me everywhere; I love it so much.

Here's the very under exposed back porch. The picture is good in that it shows you just how quickly it's dark back there. I sort of love it that way though. As you can see, the cat, Buddha, and The Best Rocking Chair Ever make it all nice and cozy. The calla lillies, my second favorite behind tulips, don't hurt any either. I don't know how well you can see it from the pic but that rectangle planter is holding my most favorite arrangement. I had so much fun putting it together. I have no idea what the plants are in it, but when the Nursery Lady was writing up my ticket, she went nuts over it and said that I must be artsy or have a background in plants. Since I consider myself neither, this made me feel good.


And finally, the terrarium that I made a while ago needed some new inhabitants. I have a hard time with this thing- I can't seem to find anyone who gets along with the lone survivor, the guy in the 6 o'clock position. Everyone else wants all sorts of water and sunlight and bedtime stories and all sorts of botanical coddling that I am not prepared to give. so I snatched up these little succulents when the label on them basically said "likes total crap for soil and doesn't give a shit about water." I mean I am paraphrasing, but I feel the same way. Now I just need to switch out the critters, and do a bit of re-staging. I finally found a T-Rex like I wanted, and I have a blue stegasaurus that would look fantastic in there. Wow, when did I turn into a 5-year-old boy? I guess sometime around when I realized that "scrotum" is the funniest word ever, and farts are the funniest sound ever.

So yeah, spring has sprung here in the Awesome house! And this is one of the many reasons I have been sort of non-bloggy lately.

Confessional Sunday #3- Already Absolved!

For this confession in the Use Me Up Challenge, I am absolved, because I was utter Don't-Buy-That Perfection!

Funny how not spending money for (OMG NOOOO!) One Whole Week is such a source of pride for me. Kind of says a lot about the Consumerist Mentality that we (okay I) have.

Also, I am catching up in fits and starts here, so I promise not to be so absent hopefully. Actually I can't promise that. But I will be thinking of you while enjoying this amazingly wonderful spring weather. I can't promise that either, actually. Who are you again?

Confessional Sunday #2- I Am But A Slave to Pretty Things

I fell off the wagon. Hard.

I could give you the reasons leading up to it, tell you about the Woe To Me-ness that I felt prior to my fall from non-shopping grace. I could tell you why it's my duty as an American citizen to buy what I don't need (I think "need" is a relative term when used in conjunction with any sort of art of craft supply, but that's just me.) in the hopes of stimulating the economy, or perhaps I could tell you to shut up and go away and stop judging me. But I won't.

I fell off the wagon and it felt so good. If it's wrong, I don't want to be right. Which is a good thing, because it was totally wrong. And here's what it is:

6 skeins of sock yarn
Like 5 different sized sets of DPNs because they were on sale. and also because I needed them. I really did, I promise. Again with the relativity of the word "need."

I also bought what equates to something like 4 yards of fabric. Now this was totally not all my fault. It might be a Fat Quarter Pack, and maybe I was feeling really inspired since Fat Quarter Month ended over at Sew, Mama, Sew! and I really felt like a small re-do of my kitchen would be lots of fun for spring. And it will be, I know it.

Then there was the ball winder. I am not sure it counts at all, since it's not really a supply, just sort of a...thing. What was I supposed to do? Stupid Joanns and their stupid 40% off coupons. Enablers, that's what they are. I needed it for my sock yarn and I am sort of sorry, but mostly just excited.

Oopsie.