Terrible Mom

I am a terrible, awful, horrible dog mom. And NOOOOO, it's not because I LET (not made) my dog wear a dress. That makes me a cool dog mom.

I took Maya to dog school- an hour late. Yeah we showed for class at 2, and the class is at 1. And yes, this was the 7th of 8 weeks, so this is not really a new development. I am a moron, I know. Luckily she can still graduate, according to the teacher. Even though Maya has made huge improvements and is kick ass at sitting, I was worried that she would not pass because there is a lot that she won't or can't do. I think it's that she won't do them, but whatever. But hooray!- Maya will have her picture taken with a graduation hat on, and get her picture on the bulletin board. It's very important to her.

I mean, I don't care if I have the only dog in the class who stays glued to the corner. It's cool that the only time she comes out of the corner is to snag a toy that another dog clearly wants, take it back to the corner and either sit on it or hold it in her mouth and wave it around, like she is bragging. I like to say she is remedial. I think it sounds nicer, and not like she is retarded. I mean she isn't, she is just different and has lots of potential, despite her hard knock life. She is like a girl who goes to the special high schools because she got knocked up in 11th grade and wants to get her GED or something. But still, she makes me feel like Sally Field in Forrest Gump, going through life trying to politely insist that her kid is just as good as any other. I draw the line at sexing up the principal (which i guess would be like the manager at PetSmart in our case? I dunno.) so she can be admitted. No sir, if our $109 is not good there, then we will just take our dollars elsewhere, thankyouverymuch.

However, sometimes when we are out and about in the store during class, performing little exercises to teach the dogs manners and stuff, I feel the need to justify her to everyone that we pass. I mean, they may not be sitting there judging the two of us, but in case they are I like to clear the air with things like, "She's a rescue.She really used to be much worse. We're trying goddammit!" and, "I just can't believe that SOME ONE ELSE, NOT ME, could make this poor little dog so upset that she has to act like this" or "Hey, at least she isn't foaming at the mouth right?" I think that sort of thing makes people feel guilty for being such judgemental pricks. I love guilt trips; they rule.