A Moron Fails Her Attempt to Fly the Friendly Skies

This is just one of those things. It's like the knitting needle in the pinkie toe, or the time I saw my boss' desk chair break into pieces while he was sitting in it. It just happens, and it happens to me. I don't know why. Maybe I am cursed. Maybe I am fortunate. I don't know anymore.

So I get on the plane in Memphis on Sunday night to begin making my trip home. I am sitting three rows from the back, and all buckled in and working on the mitts that would later be the cause of a flesh wound. Anyway, I was feeling quite low because I had just said good bye to the BF, and that's always tough. All of a sudden the overwhelming odor of pot fills the air.

Yeah, pot. Marijuana. Insert lots of clever little names for it here.

I look around (okay fine, whip my head around) and see other people smell it too! There are two kind of punky looking kids (not punk like punk music, punk like what old people call kids that are up to no good) are sitting in the backseat.

Well, the stewardess working the back end of the plane smelled it too.

So she starts questioning the gal, who had just come out of the bathroom. The girl, naturally becomes very indignant and things the lady is CRAZY, because hul-LOOOO?!?! pot on an airplane? No way!

The back and forth continues, and then a very stern looking woman in a polo shirt and mom-jean style khakis comes aboard and says something to the kids. The girl is becoming sort of shrill at this point and says something about how she is going to miss the connecting flight in Atlanta. I am thinking, Honey that is the LEAST of your worries.

Now I look down the aisle (I am facing straight ahead, furiously knitting and trying to appear innocent; even though I have done nothing wrong I feel nervous and guilty for some reason), and there are Men With Badges on the plane! They stand there and look intimidating while Mom Jean Khaki Lady instructs the kids to get their stuff. They comply and off the plane they go.

It gets better.

As we are flying, our awesome stewardess comes around and announces to the back of the plane, "Now that we all have the munchies, who wants a snack?! I know y'all are hungry for some Cheetos and some Lucky charms, but all we have is pretzels. Who needs two bags?!?"

I laughed into my knitting. Hard.

I don't know what ever became of that girl. Or her boyfriend. I think that anything you do that's bad becomes a Very Serious Offense when you are caught doing it on an airplane. Including, well, doing it. Anyway, I am sure that girl will now know that day as The Day She Ruined Her Life, but I can't ever say for sure.

Makes for a great story anyway, though, doesn't it?