So This Is What It Feels Like To Really Go Crazy

O magic deluxe chai tea mix, O my sanity. It is only your sweet spicy milky warm deliciousness that prevents me from going on the most murderous of rampages. A rampage brought on by something you would never guess:

a $1.50 pack of blank recycled paper greeting cards I bought at Wal-Mart.

They've gone missing, and I can't find them and I know I saw them...sometime. It was recent. One day they were on one of the chairs in the dining room. They were also on the shelf in the office closet. Then they were on the floor in the office and one day I picked them up when I was cleaning up and they were put...

somewhere.

I don't know where. I have searched everywhere. I looked EVERYWHERE in this whole bloody awful office. I looked in the dining room. I looked in the closet. I even looked in my underwear drawer. Don't judge me- these are desperate times, friends. And it wasn't for nothing- I found my checkbook in there. Really, I did.

I am distraught. For one, I am distraught because of course if effing figures that the one time I really really wanted to play with them, had all the other stuff at the ready and could delight the masses with them, they are no where to be found. For two, it's a matter of principle. An entire evening that could have been spent blissfully getting glue everywhere and going to bed with bits of paper in my hair and leaving fun cards on the table for the cat to walk all over while I sleep has been ruined. Ruined, I tell ya! For three, I figure I could have bought a damn Mazerati by now with all I have spent on supplies for various crafts (okay fine, maybe more like a 1987 Dodge Caravan, but still) and I can't throw some freaking Christmas cards together if I want! For four, I just wanted to get to four, because saying "for four" takes the edge off a bit.

I'm gonna buy more tomorrow. I am gonna finish up the last remaining packages to be mailed, and mail them. I am changing these up because I realized that pickle jars for dog cookies would do nothing but add weight and cost to the mailing of the packages. Lame. So yeah, that is being finished, I am getting my volunteer on at the shelter, and the rest of it will be spent cleaning up this room for once and for all. It will be my gift to myself this year, and it's long overdue. Ephram the Holiday Snail would be pleased.

Oh, great. Just great. I just looked down, at 9PM, and realized the shirt that I wore all freaking day AT MY JOB is on inside out. Someone, come save me from myself. Please.